Samya's Space

I must keep writing for it liberates me.  Lord Buddha preached to not make promises while you're happy and to not take decisions while you're sad. Contemplating this, I can only think of the way too many instances where I have done quite the opposite. Almost all my promises were given with a smile and the major decisions of life taken with a heart filled with unspeakable grief or anguish.  THE IRONY of it is sad actually.

Do not seek here love that knows no boundaries glistening in my eyes looking into yours Do not seek here the sweet waiting that filled my heart  with each one of your promises Do not seek here the worry I felt seeing you unhappy and caught up in your fears Do not seek here the warmth of my touch as I clasped and wrapped your hand in mine Do not seek here the tears that flowed down as my heart broke inside me, quietly But do seek here a flower wilted and dying, shuddering  as you pick up another blooming flower.

“At first I did not love you, Jude; that I own. When I first knew you I merely wanted you to love me. I did not exactly flirt with you; but that inborn craving which undermines some women's morals almost more than unbridled passion--the craving to attract and captivate, regardless of the injury it may do the man--was in me; and when I found I had caught you, I was frightened. And then--I don't know how it was-- I couldn't bear to let you go--possibly to Arabella again--and so I got to love you, Jude. But you see, however fondly it ended, it began in the selfish and cruel wish to make your heart ache for me without letting mine ache for you.”  ―  Thomas Hardy ,  Jude the Obscure

Come here sit down beside me. I don't have much to give you or show you. but i have a stack of books, of very much cherished yet battered books, worn out as i have with years, and just as my soul, still smiles through the discoloured, well-perused pages. so i shall read aloud to you, or you can read to me, and i promise you ill be all ears, my attention will not waver off your voice for a minute. either ill let my voice sweep over you or succumb to your voice bathing me with glorious imagination ensuing from those precious words. this is all i can offer. but this i offer with all my heart. i shall sit there in that little hut in that old rickety chair. but i know you will not come. even today you averted your gaze with contempt from me. as always, moved away as if my presence itself was sore to your eyes. but i wont contradict you or reproach you, never. not because your gestures and actions do not hurt and wound me deeply, prof...

Shades of pink around her feasted eyes Soothing, loving words and every comfort material and otherwise that a mortal ever craves velvet at her feet, spacious luxury motors carry her No one scorned her, or was scorned by her I wake up from my daily nightmares to the real one filled with yells, scoffing and insults And resort to pretence of sleep as no more can I do of any result. Flogged, abused, spurned, dragged I stand forlorn on a crowded street Passing eyes jeer with inquisition, I feel like screaming out of it... Her sweetly admired repertoire of intellectual thought my deranged mind in all a baffled sort Her kind, thoughtful words my depth-less jabber, spoken to impress Her recognition and love my shame and hateful vows I feel like strangling a weeping girl with the hands she'd use to wipe those tears I spit the filthy scoffing back at the world with the lips s...

As a child, I believed, that the Sun was mine and He followed keeping His bright eyes on me sharing the happy warmth with me I felt nothing but haughty But now I know, it is not so, because I got to know the Lady Moon She's the love of Sun's life and in the light of His affection She shines, her face beautiful, reflecting His love showered over Her Yet I noticed each and every dawn and dusk She demurely leaves as He arrives She leaves...He arrives, they never pause Lovely Moon's silent plea was never heard by a soul but me, since one cloudy night she sang to me in her voice of sweet melancholy, "Oh, for true lovers were never united and those united were never true. Dear, such is how true love shall be Now is not too late to learn than never is..."