Samya's Space

     ©The National, PWB's ' Fleabag '. I feel what it is to be an adult means to be mortally wounded and hurt inside but getting on with day-to-day mundane tasks with an air of normalcy - lest they smell or detect your hurt. If that is what it is like to be an adult, then I believe, I am now a fully-fledged adult. All my personal fairy tales have fallen apart and left me disenchanted, and my self-proclaimed prophecies of grandeur have proven humiliatingly false. What is left now, but to live? And to live as if nothing has broken inside of me, as if nothing has abandoned me, deceived me, insulted me, censured me, abused me, let me down, given me false hope, and left me utterly, terribly, alone. It is a tall order, but all adults are demanded that this impossible task be done impeccably. Some fail and seek out help to stabilize their deteriorating emotional state, and some go on pretending that nothing is wrong, until it is all too much, and decide to end the pain. Either w...

Don't tell me it's not like me The self-destructive ways, the abhorrence of the ordinary And the craving for all things that I cannot have Don't deny my own nature to me, it had happened before, it's in my blood and you kept it from me. It's in my blood to revolt, to be in the extremes, to be volatile, and to take my own life. Be it poison or be it a knife or be it in the dimples or the long curly mane, the inheritance from bloodline. This death wish runs in my blood You thought I'll never find out.

So how are you progressing Vidya? I have gone 2 squares up! What squares have you conquered? I got the heirs to two oldest families of the island pinned down. Excellent feat young lady!  That fine complexion must’ve surely helped, but not so bad at all for 23! And how did you to Melanie? I am stuck at the same square,  neither is my purse plump enough, nor my name long enough Oh well, Melanie you must get a move on!  The clock is ticking by. I know, the clock hands just reached 28! 28! Oh no, no, hurry up Melanie before you dry up completely! How about you abandon that square of no hope, and go down to square 15? What? To a single-story house and no car? Yes, but there must be some compromise… ( at this age ) A PHD is no good without looks and some dough, you know? Poor Melanie! Ah, it’s Anita! So tell us how are you getting along? Wonderfully well! He and I are so much in love,  we’ve scheduled our wedding at Ibiza this June! Oh, nice,...